Sweet Brightness, Aliveness, Take-Me-Now-Ness

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about my daughters these days. Not in these large sweeping grandiose ways about the depth of our relationship or how I came to be their mama, or how incredibly quickly the time has passed. I try not to get hung up on what they are learning from me and what they will carry with them that they learned under my roof and the cosmos that orchestrated it all to come to pass.

Always.

Alan Rickman passed away today. I never met him and he certainly had no idea I even existed, but I am devastated by the news. You see, he created an unexpected pathway to my teenage daughter, Taylor. A cherished connection in the budding years of her life where I’m becoming irrelevant and aged to her….

Little Bargains

Two nights ago,¬†I heard my daughter Cate whispering to our dog, Chase Muttley. She was kneeling down, very close to his face her little hands scratching him behind his tall ears. I couldn’t begin to guess what she was saying but I assumed her murmurs to be sweet nothings or puppy/baby talk. She finished speaking…

Role (With the Punches)

Three years ago, my then five year-old Cate suddenly took ill. She became lethargic and developed strider in the early morning hours unexpectedly. After rushing her to the Emergency Room I went through several scary days that included a hospital stay in the at Children’s Medical Center. What I wrote about that experience is as…

Cate Turns Eight

My beautiful daughter, Cate, turned eight on the 21st. I feel like I blinked and there she was standing in front of me her wild blonde hair and crooked teeth. As a mother, this experience isn’t unique. There isn’t anyone out there that has children that hasn’t felt how I felt today watching her blow…

Meet Chase Muttley

Our dog, Chase Muttley, is around 18 months old. I’ve been told that in dog math, that makes him about 20 years old in human years. I realize I haven’t spoken of him on my blog and thought I’d introduce him to you. As he’s grown we’ve had our struggles with him. From the beginning…

Life Lesson #25 Take it All IN

I cherish the moments more and more as the days pass more quickly. I take it in moment by moment, sometimes with earnest that I might miss every detail. Sometimes I have to hold back from begging… begging them, begging this life to just slow down, just a bit… Just long enough for me to gather it all in and let their days (and mine) last a moment longer.

The Most Impossible of Fairy Tales

I met him in person in September of 2013. In a place that held a lot of memories for us both separately, but neither of us called home. He took my hand and led me up a stone staircase that he helped create months¬†earlier when we were still strangers. For anyone else it would have…

Stepping into the Spotlight

For the first time she Cate began taking dance lessons, she had a recital, and a spotlight, all to herself.

The Language of Tears

In a scene that lasted less than two minutes, Cate experienced something deeply stirring that made her own life seem more precious. The lesson was a brutal one – administered with a sharp, sad, sting. That night, she clung more tightly to me her small hands holding my hands and her head nuzzled into my neck. She craved being close after being exposed to her own precious and fragile humanity… a humanity that can sometimes only be recognized through tears.