I could have entered this decade kicking and screaming, and I can kick and scream with the best of them. I opted for more of a casual stroll so I could (try to) appreciate the view. A panoramic of my life not focusing too much on past, present, or future, but where all three come together and what I’m left with: myself. Good, bad, ugly, overwhelming, beautiful, … it’s all been there.
Someone asked me what it felt like and I said that as I get older…I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. I don’t feel like I’m where I thought I’d be but I’m right where I am supposed to be somehow. Some days I am okay with that answer and some days I’m just not. That’s okay too. The burdens, the complexities, the stress and pressure have increased but the depth of my relationships with my daughters, family and friends the things I have gotten to see and experience make it an easy trade. Tears for laughter, dark for light, pain for joy, it’s all on a sliding scale and I appreciate that I’ve had my fair share of both. I’m better for it.
So what are my take-aways? My pearls of wisdom? I’ll take a crack at a few.
My children are the single two greatest people I have ever had the honor to love. (Earning their love in return, raising them to exist without me, and find their wings is a privilege.)
At the end of the day, it’s about love. (It’s about love at the beginning of the day too.)
I’ve earned my 30 years and I wouldn’t change any of it. (I did some pretty stupid stuff though so I owe myself and my family the learned lessons those moments brought to me.)
Life is funny and laughing feels good. (Crying is a part of life and it can feel good too)
It’s not about me. (Except for when it is. Making time for myself makes me a better mom, friend, daughter. Makes me a better me.)
Happiness is my responsibility. (But I can let the people in my life still try…because the people in my life do contribute greatly to my happiness.)
Being genuinely nice, kind and generous is who I am. (It doesn’t make me weak or wrong. It also doesn’t make me stupid. That’s not who I am.)
It’s okay to say you don’t know. (It’s not okay to give up.)
There’s always going to be something that goes wrong. (There’s always going to be an opportunity to manage it gracefully)
The things I need tend to show up as I need them. (I work my butt of to make sure of that)
Ultimately, life is pretty damn good, (Even when it sucks.)
I’m nothing without the army of people in my life. I don’t know if I’ve changed for the better. (But I’ve been changed for good.)