I went on a long run this morning without music so that I could be alone with my thoughts. This past week has been disjointed and overwhelming for me. Admittedly, the stress levels have been high and unfortunately it has gotten the better of me a few times. I have been fortunate that my friends and family have taken very good care of me, in spite of myself, and two critical pieces of advice sunk in this morning while I was on the trail.
My good friend Kendall, who arguably has one of the most inspiring approaches to and zests for life gave me some really good advice last night… she told me to be kind to myself. It was so simple but it stopped me in my mental tracks. Additionally, another good friend has told me (more than once) to be patient and let time do it’s job and recognize that “this too shall pass.”
I have been pushing so hard to get through things it’s been like slamming myself against a brick wall. True to my normal form I kept thinking that if I just keep at it, I would knock it all down and break through it if I just went as fast and as hard as I could go. I just wanted to be on the other side NOW. I have felt uncharacteristically weak and that has further deepened my frustration levels. My friends have reminded me that breaking through isn’t the only way to get past a wall. Being kind to myself, knowing I won’t be perfect, but remembering that I am inherently made of breath, and light will help to rise above the wall and move past it. I don’t need brute strength, I need soul power.
I realized this morning on my run that for me, some walls just aren’t meant to be broken down. Pushing, straining, fighting isn’t how I need to get past some of the tough stuff. I think that for me walls sometimes have to stay fully intact in the past to serve as a reminder of what is there, what I’ve overcome. And when I am past the pain, I can return to those walls and reflect on their purpose for being and with clarity and peace, accept their place in my life.
My run was cathartic today, hearing the breath in my lungs, my feet on the ground, feeling the cool air on my skin, made me feel very connected to my center for the first time in week. My run was like climbing back into a familiar place… coming home… walls and all…
If you can keep your head when all about you